Today I read an article about someone who had a goal of having a mediocre life. My first reaction was, why in the world would anyone want to be mediocre? When I look at my past, I am often haunted by how middle-of-the-road it has been. Certainly not every aspect of my life has been passable, but on more than one occasion I have said, “I wish there had been something that I did really well…something I excelled at.”
I had two huge childhood/teenage dreams that went unrealized, and I still have a laundry list of activities that I want to master, but I seem to have come to a point in my life where I’ve put them in the ‘Never Gonna Happen’ category. And I’m not sure I’m ok with that. As much as I love to be in my safe little bubble, regret will constantly pick at the back of my brain, making my comfort zone uncomfortable.
But on the other hand, I can relate to the person who wrote that article, their point being, “Why am I not enough?” Why should I have to keep resetting a higher goal everytime I reach one in order to feel like I matter? Maybe I like where I am and don’t need to keep pushing myself to be satisfied. I am enough.
Another thing is, I feel we introverts often regard ourselves as inferior and I think it’s because we are not confident in self-promotion, so recognition for accomplishing something is minimal for us, whether it pertains to personal or professional goals. Therefore, the feeling of not being enough is prominent in us and it can be quite frustrating when we reach that point of satisfaction and we are told by others that we should strive to be even more.
I guess it all comes down to our personal preferences and how we deal with pressure, whether that pressure is to be more than what we are or to stifle our ambitions in the name of comfort. I feel like I’ve got a foot in both options, so I’m wondering what side of the fence other introverts are on. Even this post is an example of being stuck between wanting to excel and letting it be enough. When I started writing it, I felt like it was meant to be an eye-opening, life-altering entry, but when I read it, I feel like it doesn’t quite live up to that…and maybe that’s enough.