After having a few too many, a hangover is almost certainly in your very near future. However, for introverts, a few too many isn’t referring to how many drinks you’ve had…it’s how many hours you’ve spent socializing.
An introvert hangover? Seriously?! Is that even a thing?
Yes! I can assure you that it is very real and if your introvert is in the throes of one, it’s one of the few times where the phrase “it’s not you, it’s me” honestly applies. They’re not ducking or copping out and I’ll bet they’re more annoyed by it than you are. It’s something that is very much out of their control and is extremely frustrating to them.
In an earlier post (https://thecardcarryingintrovert.com/how-do-you-recharge/) I talked about recharging, about how both introverts and extroverts react to the brain’s release of dopamine (the “feel good” chemical) and how it affects each of them. To quickly recap, introverts are far more sensitive to dopamine than extroverts are and in situations where there is a lot of external stimuli that causes a dopamine dump, the introvert will hit their full mark while the extrovert is just getting warmed up, so time alone and an opportunity for recharging is not just an important thing for an introvert…it’s a method of survival.
If you’re not sure what happens during an introvert hangover, there are some symptoms to watch out for. Sometimes the first clues are physical: headache, dizziness, upset stomach, blurred vision, and ringing in the ears are common. You might notice that you start speaking rather slowly or may even slur your words. This can happen even when you haven’t been drinking alcohol.
Don’t be surprised when everything under the sun starts irritating you. If you’re at a party or just visiting someone, something as trivial as where your host chooses to store their toaster can be enough to make you want to shake them and scream “what were you thinking!?!”
All of a sudden, the lights seem to get brighter, the music sounds much louder, and people are getting way too far into your personal space. Soon you’ll feel tired and start to zone out. You may be involved in a conversation with someone, but your mind will drift, your face turns blank and you’re not really hearing them anymore. You excuse yourself to escape to the food table for a pick me up, but now you can’t decide between coffee or tea and it’s maddening how difficult it is to choose.
Now anxiety is setting in and you’re nervous that other guests are looking at you funny and starting to talk about how odd you’re acting or how awkward it was when you said that silly thing earlier. Your fight-or-flight reaction is in overdrive and you are overwhelmed by the need to get outta Dodge! When it’s time to leave you fly like a bat out of hell and retreat to wherever your introvert sanctuary is just in time for your mind and body crash.
Welcome to the introvert hangover. Please realize that it is normal…it’s legit and there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re not a failure. Give yourself permission to take care of your needs!
What you do next is crucial to your well-being. You have to rest. You need solitude. And you absolutely must recharge. How you do this is totally subjective. How do you heal best? It could take 30 minutes or it could take 2 days. The important thing is that you make time for it no matter how long it takes. Don’t short change yourself because your friends, your boss, or your partner don’t quite understand. Remember, your need for recovery is valid!
I am such an extrovert, I forget that this is such a thing for my family. I think I have the opposite problem – I need so much more than my friends and family can give me that I have cravings! (Covid-19 lockdown hasn’t helped at all in that regard!)
However I still need to take time out too, for my physical health, if not mental 🙂 Even extroverts can go OTT socialising! Those relaxing boxes look great for those days.
Soooo…this post is right on target. I’ve never heard it called an introvert hangover, but there couldn’t be a more accurate term. I’ve been in the middle of conversations that have gone on way too long in my book, and I will just zone completely out. And it’s like I can’t even control it. I try to hop back in the conversation and focus, but my brain is exhausted and I just can’t focus on what is being said. I blank out, get quiet and weird, and irritated. I don’t hear other people talk about this, so it seemed like it was just me being weird! I’m so glad I found this post and that it’s a real thing. Too much “people time” drains me, and I’m one of those people that need a few days to recover. And I’m always afraid friends and family will not understand.
Thank you, Christina! You are definitely not “weird”! The hangover struggle is real and it sometimes is very hard for those who don’t experience this to understand. My hope is that they will learn about this and be supportive.
WHOA! This makes so much sense. I’m an introvert and a stay at home mom so I cherish time alone in the evening. I’ll sometimes get really snappy towards my husband – introvert hangover. It makes total sense. I love receiving subscription boxes so I’ll have to check out the ones you linked!
Thanks, Anna! I hope you find some boxes you like!
I knew this was a real thing!!! Anytime I spend too much time with other people or I go to an event with a bunch of people, I feel so drained. Like they suck the life out of me, even if I had a great time haha. Great Post!
Thank you Keirsten!!
I’m an introvert and definitely need to recharge. It feels good to take private time during the day even if just’s to take a quick nap or read a book.
The Wellness & Relaxation Subscription boxes look interesting and I’ll take a look at them. Thanks for your introvert website and I’m looking forward to reading other posts.
Thanks for reading, Diana! I think it’s so important to keep reminding ourselves and our fellow introverts that it’s ok to make your recharging needs a priority!