Get Me Out Of My Comfort Zone!

Social Events Are Not In My Comfort Zone

Not only am I an introvert…I am THE Card Carrying Introvert! I’m the first to admit that I treasure my alone time and have a difficult time getting out of my comfort zone. Social events are uncomfortable and drain my batteries very quickly. I’m mostly a homebody. BUT…it may surprise you to know that I find tremendous joy just in being invited to things. To know that someone is thinking of me and wants to include me in their circle makes my self-love meter skyrocket, and when that’s full, I’ll be yelling, “Get me to the party on time!”

The sad truth, though, is that that battle cry dies rather quickly with folks like me. In many instances, introverts end up losing touch with friends without intending to. Most often they will cancel plans they have made rather than leave that comfort zone. People eventually stop asking them to tag along because they figure, “they won’t show up anyhow.” If you’re an extrovert or someone who loves being social, please hear me! Don’t ever stop inviting your adopted introvert to go places with you! We love you and want to see you, but a lot of times we just can’t. It’s one of those rare times when the “It’s not you, it’s me” line truly applies!

I’ve Been Invited To A Party!

A couple of days ago, one of my friends texted me (texted…not called. She understands me so well) and invited me to her house for a Girl’s Night, complete with wine, cheese, chocolate and games. How fun! I screamed, “Get me to the party on time!”

Ok, I didn’t really scream that. But I sure wanted to!

I scanned the message and saw that the only other person included on it was another friend of mine whom I am already comfortable with, so I answered right away. “Yes! I’d love to!” I was genuinely excited about it too!

Shortly after I had accepted, I found out that it wouldn’t be just the three of us. There would be probably 10 more people there that I didn’t know at all. Now, I didn’t tell her, but this news knocked the wind out of me. In my head, flags went up immediately and probably 10 different excuses as to why I couldn’t make it popped into my head. I tried to keep my cool so I wouldn’t make her think I didn’t want to come. I hope she didn’t notice my panic.

Introvert Trait Or Social Anxiety?

To be clear, I am aware that this def-con 5 reaction is more a product of social anxiety than my being an introvert, but that fact doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. I’ve written about my socially anxious tendencies before (see The Socially Anxious Introvert and Learning And Avoidance) and since then, I’ve really been working hard at overcoming my irrational fear of people I don’t know and quieting the false thoughts that seem to freely flow through my mind and tell me I won’t fit in and people won’t like me.

I’ve made some admirable progress and I’m proud of myself, but I’m having a little trouble with this one. Hanging out with people I already know is a very far cry from going to a party and not being able to hide behind my friend because she’s the host and will need to be catering to her guests. Talk about getting tossed out of your comfort zone!

This is happening tomorrow night! And even as I’m sitting here, less than 24 hours away from it, I’m still fighting with myself to not cancel. I’m trying to take away every excuse I can come up with. I even went to the grocery store early to pick up wine and chocolate because I knew if I backed out and didn’t take it to that party, it would sit here at my house and go to waste, and that would vex me to no end. Plus, my friend told me how excited she was that I was coming. Personally, knowing that someone is looking forward to me being a part of whatever they’ve got going on is one of the biggest confidence boosters ever. How could I pass that up?

Can You Help?

So this is my struggle. I really do think that I’m going to be able to throw my comfort zone aside and pull this off. Just in case, though, please keep your fingers crossed for me and send positive vibes my way. If you have any suggestions or words of encouragement, I would certainly welcome them!