Hey, fellow introverts! Do you ever feel useless? And if so, does it make you question whether or not you’re just being lazy?
This has been me for the last 4 weeks! But it’s not about being unintelligent or incompetent. It’s about a lack of desire to do what I need to do to be productive. “I don’t want to adult today” has turned into not adulting for weeks or sometimes months at a time for me. My couch becomes quicksand…I get stuck there, unable to pull myself out, and eventually I relent and sink into oblivion.
Oh, I can give you a slew of reasons as to why! I’m still recovering from my broken hip…the school year has started, which is back to work for me, and I’m so slammed there that all I want to do is crash when I get home…I battled insomnia last night so I need to take lots of naps today…I didn’t reach my weight goal for the week so now I’m extra hangry and having an all day pity party.
While these are meant to be funny, they also are credible reasons for why I haven’t made blog posts, or written any more of my novel, or did any housework. Instead, I tell myself these reasons and, with my personality, it makes it so easy to lounge around and play BINGO on my phone (which only serves to further my phone addiction).
At the end of every day, I feel immense guilt and swear to myself that tomorrow is going to be different. I’m going to make a prioritized list and stick to it! No phone or couch until my tasks are complete!
Riiiight…
That might last a day or two, but soon I give in and am right back to where I started…on my couch, draining my phone battery with every “B-11” called.
The longer this goes on, the more I slip into apathy and my depression takes over. It raises that nemesis of negative self talk in my mind that bullies me into feeling useless, lazy, and worthless. That’s a hard place to be and an extremely difficult spot to get out of! Luckily I have a very supportive family and a therapist who is helping me to see that these are not reasons…they are excuses! They remind me that I’m not useless, that I do have worth, and that I am very capable of adulting and doing it well.
This post is one part of starting a new chapter in my life. One where I don’t make excuses and give in to the lure of my couch and the games on my phone. Where every day I keep making the decision to do the things that seem overwhelming but will put me on the path to achieving my goals.
I do wonder, though, are all introverts like this? Do you battle with laziness? Do you have to fight with yourself to do the things that are necessary but aren’t what you want to do at that moment?
Let’s be each other’s accountability partner. Feel free to make a comment or send me an email at julie@thecardcarryingintrovert.com and ask me what I’ve done that day to help accomplish my goals. If you would like me to do the same for you, please let me know! Let’s get this done together!
I’ve been having moments like this for sure lately. I think it’s the pandemic. As much as it uses my energy to go out and mix with others, when I do it I feel a sense of accomplishment, so when I hermit it feels indulgent!