Someone asked me the other day why I needed alone time. So I gave the tried and true introverted answer of, “I use it to recharge after a lot of social activity.” To which they then asked, “Yeah, but don’t you get lonely?” I responded with a small chuckle and a resounding, “NO.” But after a few days of thinking about that, I’m not so sure that’s always true.
For the last few years I’ve been a very busy bee. A regular job, a second coaching job, a teenage son involved in sports and music activities, and an equally busy husband. There isn’t a day that I don’t have some sort of commitment or obligation, so my very coveted alone time doesn’t happen very often. When it does, you can bet your butt I take full advantage of it! Every second I get is dedicated to resting and reflection, which sometimes leads to overthinking and obsessing, so I have to be careful there. Needless to say, my house is never as clean as it should be, the laundry is constantly in a flux of washed but not dried, or dried but not folded, my father goes for weeks without hearing from me, and hobbies or projects that I’d like to take on never happen. Many times I felt guilt-ridden for not accomplishing those things, but if I didn’t take that time, I would never be able to function properly. So, no, currently I don’t get lonely when I’m alone.
However, if I think back to before this stage of my life, it’s a different story. I had a different job, I wasn’t coaching, and my son was in elementary school, so sports and activities really hadn’t kicked in yet. My husband and I worked opposite shifts so one of us was always home with our boy, so during the day I had plenty of alone time. After awhile, though, I found myself going a little stir crazy and wanting company.
Fast forwarding to the present, I’m finding myself in almost the same situation. I have more free time, but it hasn’t been long since I stopped coaching, so I’m still getting caught up on recharging. When my batteries are full though, I’ve been using my time to get this blog off the ground, which means my house is still a mess and my laundry is still not done. However, I’m not blogging in every spare moment.
As much of an introvert as I am, there are times when I literally crave interaction. There’s a lot to be said for having someone that you are completely comfortable with just be with you. Sometimes you don’t even need to talk or be right next to each other, but to have that calming presence in the same room can work wonders.
For me, that’s always my husband. When I need to share the weirdness of my day or the awesomeness of something I accomplished, he is my go-to guy. I love to hear him talk about a breakthrough he had at work, tell stories about the kids he teaches, or brag about the unbelievable play our son made at practice. He’s the perfect sounding board for all the things I should’ve said, but didn’t, and all the arguments I should’ve made, but kept quiet. He keeps me grounded and makes me feel secure. I am completely blessed.
So is it lonesome when no one else is around? Well, I would have to say the answer is no…and yes.