A Tender Guide to Grieving a Pet for Highly Sensitive Introverts
To sensitive introverts, pets are not just animals — they’re friends, family, and deeply loved companions.
Bella was the cutest little kitten who came into my life unexpectedly at just eight weeks old, a little over 19 years ago. I experienced most of my adult life with her by my side — different apartments, different relationships, and even different cat companions who joined us over the years.
When she was 15, she was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease. I was blessed with the opportunity to treat her for it, which helped extend her life to 19 years and 6 months. It felt like our bond only grew stronger during that time, and I truly believe she knew I was doing all I could so we could keep spending time together. As a highly sensitive introvert, I had a special connection with Bella.
Her vet referred to her as a “miracle kitty,” as we had what felt like a couple of close calls — but she kept choosing life. In some ways, it felt like she would live forever.
Still, I knew the day all pet owners dread was inevitable. In mid-February 2023, she told me in her own way that it was time — that she was ready. There were about two weeks between the time she passed and when the crematory called to tell me, “Bella is ready to be delivered back home,” which, surprisingly, felt comforting.
I still think about her — and talk to her — almost every day when I look at her pictures or urn. I still have days when I cry and just miss her so much. But I also smile when I see my cat, Sam, stare intently down the hallway or dart his eyes around the ceiling, as though he sees her spirit coming to visit. I think that gives him comfort, too.
Introverts and Pets Are Perfect for Each Other
Having a pet is a special experience, and introverts and pets truly are perfect for each other. Maybe you can relate to some of what I shared about Bella.
Whether a pet passes away young or in old age — whether their passing is sudden or after an illness — the loss can be deeply painful for their owners and caregivers, especially for highly sensitive introverts. Some people even say that losing a pet was more painful than losing a human in their life.
It’s not “just a pet.” It’s a truly special relationship — and that’s why the loss can hurt so deeply.
Now, let’s look at some of the main reasons pet loss can affect highly sensitive introverts in such a profound way.
Why Pet Loss Deeply Affects Highly Sensitive Introverts
1. A lot of time together at home
Highly sensitive introverts often find comfort in the sanctuary of their home — and that usually means spending a lot of time with their pets.
This is one of the things I especially loved about moving into a work-from-home setup: more time with my pets! Whether you also started working from home or simply enjoy being at home, your pet’s absence can feel incredibly noticeable and significant.
And for highly sensitive introverts, that absence tends to hit even harder.
2. The absence of routines
Letting go of the routines — which we introverts often thrive on — can bring up a lot of sadness. Maybe it was feeding times, bedtime snuggles, or daily walks.
One significant routine I had with Bella was her medication regimen, which became a big part of our life together, especially in her final months.
She also had her own adorable little rituals: waiting in front of the refrigerator hoping for a splash of milk, persistently trying to sneak “people food” (especially pizza and cheese), licking my nose in the morning to wake me up, snuggling with me at bedtime, or curling up on the windowsill or in her favorite cat bed next to the radiator.
Even now, I sometimes glance toward the radiator, hoping to see her there, soaking up the warmth.
Suffice it to say, it can feel like a major shift when those familiar routines are suddenly gone.
3. The close relationship you had with your pet
To introverts, pets are not just animals — they’re friends, family, and deeply loved companions. It often feels like we connect with our pets on a soul level. They become our best friends.
There may even be an intuitive kind of communication between highly sensitive introverts and their pets — a deep bond and a flow of unconditional love.
You might feel like your pet was always there for you, through all the ups and downs of life, offering comfort and stability during difficult times. And because highly sensitive introverts feel things so deeply, the loss of this connection can be truly devastating.
There’s a quote — author unknown — that says, “Grief is love with nowhere to go.” That couldn’t be more true when it comes to losing a pet.
Because the relationship is so rooted in unconditional love, I believe our pets come into our lives to help us experience that love — and to teach us how to give it. So when your pet crosses the rainbow bridge, it can feel like you have all this love left, but nowhere to put it. The loss can feel similar to an abandonment wound. It’s deeply painful.
Now, let’s talk about some ways to support yourself as you grieve the loss of a pet — especially if you’re a highly sensitive introvert. These are tips I’m sharing as a therapist, though I’ll also include some personal experiences with Bella to help bring them to life.
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How to Grieve the Loss of a Pet as a Highly Sensitive Introvert
1. Be present with your feelings.
There’s a saying that grief comes in waves — you never know when the feelings will rise up or how intensely they’ll hit. Just know that it’s okay — and completely normal — to feel everything that comes up after the loss of your beloved pet.
I know it doesn’t always feel good to sit with that pain, but it’s important to allow yourself to feel your emotions. Suppressing them doesn’t make them go away — it just pushes them down, where they can linger and resurface in other ways.
By allowing yourself to feel your emotions, you’re honoring your experience — and the relationship you had with your pet.
In my experience, the most common emotions that come with grieving are sadness, regret, guilt, and anxiety.
2. Find a safe person to talk to.
Unfortunately, not everyone understands pet loss — and some people may even minimize it. Hearing something like “it’s just a cat” can feel incredibly invalidating when you’re grieving such an important relationship. That’s why it’s essential to identify someone you can safely talk to about your experience.
Luckily, introverts often thrive in one-on-one connections. Sharing stories and reflections about your pet with someone who truly listens can be incredibly healing and meaningful.
Many veterinary offices also offer resources for grief counselors or support groups specifically focused on pet loss. You may also have a friend or family member who owns a pet — or has experienced the loss of one — who can empathize with what you’re going through.
3. Practice self-care — it’s especially important now.
While grieving — especially in the early stages — you might find it hard to care for yourself. This can show up in different ways: emotional eating (or barely eating at all), sleeping too much or too little, withdrawing from others, or losing interest in things that once brought you joy.
Grief after a loss can feel a lot like depression. That’s why it’s so important to be gentle with yourself and make an effort to care for your basic needs.
If you notice these patterns continuing and they start to feel hard to break out of, it might be a sign that it’s time to talk to someone for extra support.
4. Journal about how you’re feeling.
After Bella died, I tearfully journaled about her final day because I didn’t want to forget the details of our goodbye.
You can do this too — journaling is a powerful and gentle way to process your emotions. It’s an ideal coping mechanism, especially for highly sensitive introverts who often find comfort in writing.
A healing exercise is to write a letter to your pet. You might tell them how much you miss them, how much they meant to you, or share anything you didn’t get to say. Writing from the heart can help you feel more connected and begin to move through the grief.
5. Look at pictures of your pet.
Take some time to look through your favorite pictures of your pet. I’ve found that when I do this, it feels like I’m reconnecting with Bella. All the love I have for her comes rushing back, and I often find myself talking to her — saying things like, “I miss you so much, sweet Bella girl.”
It brings me comfort, even if it sometimes brings up tears. But despite the tears, I know it’s a healing practice — one that helps me stay connected to her memory in a meaningful way.
6. Try the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), also known as “tapping.”
The Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is an evidence-based energy psychology tool that has helped me immensely in my own grieving process. Some of my clients have even described it as “active meditation.”
With EFT, you gently connect with the emotions you’re feeling — such as sadness — and tap on specific acupressure points on your body while naming the emotion.
This tapping helps activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the part of your body responsible for calming you down after stress. Over time, EFT can help you recall memories without the same intensity of emotional pain.
You can find guided videos online to walk you through the process. One app I often recommend is The Tapping Solution, which even has a tapping meditation specifically for grieving the loss of a pet.
7. Ask yourself: What did your pet teach you?
Reflecting on this question can be incredibly healing. Isn’t it a comforting thought that our pets may have had a purpose in our lives — to teach us certain lessons and help us grow?
For me, Bella definitely taught me about unconditional love. She also helped me learn to trust my intuition — especially when it came to her health, her care, and eventually, her end-of-life decisions.
For example, about nine months before she passed, her kidney levels spiked, and she had to be hospitalized. The vet treating her suggested I might want to consider putting her down, as she might only have weeks left. But my intuition told me otherwise — it said, “No, not yet.”
I’m so grateful I listened. Her levels returned to where they had been before, and we were gifted nine more beautiful months together. And when the time truly came for her to cross the rainbow bridge, I had that same intuitive knowing — the quiet but clear feeling that said, “It’s time.”
Now, it’s easier for me to trust that intuitive inner voice in other areas of my life, too. I’m so thankful Bella helped me develop and trust that part of myself.
8. Find a way to honor their memory.
Our pets are forever loved and never forgotten, so it’s meaningful to honor their memory in whatever way feels right to you.
For example, I keep a photo on Bella’s urn, along with some of her favorite toys. I also have a small figurine of an angel holding a cat — something that brings me a sense of peace whenever I see it.
What are some ways you might honor your beloved pet’s memory? It could be something simple or something symbolic — whatever helps you feel connected and brings you comfort. 
In loving memory, I dedicate this article to Bella.
