Why Animals Love Introverts (and the Feeling Is Mutual)
Unlike people, most animals accept me just as I am and are delighted to spend time with me — even if I don’t say a word.
I sat at the computer, choosing the desired print settings, then cringed slightly as my Border Collie, Ellie Mae, whined and took shelter under a table when my document began to come out of the machine.
“It’s okay, sweetie, it’ll be done in just a minute,” I said, trying to soothe her.
Ellie was one in a long line of rescued animals I’d had growing up. Many had largely unknown backgrounds, and that element of mystery might explain why the sound of a printer was so upsetting to my dog. Who knew what she’d previously been through to cause that reaction? She did, but she couldn’t tell me — so the best I could do was try to keep her calm.
I often think to myself that I get along better with animals than people. That doesn’t mean I dislike humans, but I often become frustrated by how hard I have to work to make meaningful connections with them. Animals, on the other hand, are very clear about how they feel toward me. There’s nothing like the pleasure of coming home after a long day and being warmly greeted by my two cats
In many instances throughout my life, animals have bonded more readily and closely with me than with others. I think that largely has to do with my being an introvert.
Cautious Animals Appreciate Our Patience
Shortly before the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, I agreed to take in two cats — Button and Pumbaa — because their owner’s housing situation no longer allowed her to keep them. Pumbaa warmed up to me fully within a few days and was curious enough to come out from under the bed and sniff my hand on the evening of their arrival.
Things were different with Button, and her owner said I should expect to be put through a “two-week test” to win her over. “Don’t worry. Once you get over that initial hump, Button will really love you,” the owner assured me.
I was dubious, but that turned out to be good advice. Every day, I went into the room where Button was and spoke to her softly, using an encouraging, pleasant tone. She never came out from under the bed while I was in the room, but I spent a lot of time there so we could get used to each other.
Then, finally, on the 13th day, Button ventured out when I was filling the food and water bowls. I was astounded but kept up my easy chatter with her. She remained out for several minutes more, so I extended my hand to her. She was okay with that, and I chanced petting her. She immediately began purring, and this first cuddle fest lasted a good 15 minutes. Button even showed me she liked her belly rubbed — a rarity among cats and a sign of trust when they expose their bellies.
From that day on, she was completely okay with me and extremely affectionate. Indeed, she’s sleeping beside me as I type this. I strongly believe my willingness to let her get to know me on her terms fostered that early trust and keeps her so loyal to me.
Unfortunately for me as an introvert, today’s society usually doesn’t allow enough patience for people going through new experiences. If I don’t seem immediately open, friendly, and bubbly in a Zoom meeting with new colleagues, my boss might think I’m not trying hard enough to get to know the other workers. If I seem a bit “off” at a social gathering where I don’t know most of the attendees, others might assume I’m not very fun, too quiet, or even rude.
However, time improves almost everything for me when it comes to social experiences. I greatly appreciate it when people show patience, giving me the space I need to become comfortable and willing to open up — without feeling pressured.
Introverts Pick Up on Animals’ Body Language
Although I’m not currently riding, I’m a horse girl at heart and will always have a soft spot for these lovely creatures. I rode regularly throughout much of my childhood and high school years. Since horses are so large, if they become spooked by something, their sudden movements can make things go wrong very quickly.
Take, for example, the time I was riding Red Girl, an older Appaloosa mare. My aunt was visiting and watching me when she decided to take a picture without warning. Red Girl became alarmed at the camera’s flash and bolted so severely that I fell off — but I was unharmed.
In another case, my dad was feeding Hope, my sister’s rescued Saddlebred mare. Hope was extremely skittish but had improved a lot under my family’s care and attention. She had her head down, eating grain from a container, when something startled her. Her head flew up, striking my dad in the chest and breaking several ribs.
Fortunately, horses give a lot of signs that they’re worried about something. They’ll hold their heads high, start snorting, and prick their ears in the direction of whatever concerns them. This is when they’re most likely to make sudden movements to escape the perceived danger, so riders must be ready to move with them if they want to stay in the saddle. Being an introvert tends to help me pick up on body language and cues others may overlook, and that skill came in handy when deciphering horses’ feelings.
My closest equine bond was with Jester, a Morgan/Quarter Horse gelding that I rode almost daily for several years before going to college. He had a strong personality and a lot of quirks that quickly frustrated other riders. I have a lot of quirks, too, so we got along well, and bonding with him was definitely worth the effort.
Although Jester was a lot less prone to spooking than other horses I’d known, he really disliked sudden gusts of wind rustling the trees nearest the arena. Whenever I was riding him on windy days, I’d talk to him in a steady, low voice. This seemed to settle him enough that he wasn’t as upset when the wind became especially powerful. I knew I couldn’t predict the gusts, but I could reassure him that things weren’t as scary as he feared.
I’m also not a fan of surprises. By their very definition, they disrupt the low-stimulus, calming environment I prefer as an introvert. Even if the surprise is something good, it’s a circumstance I wasn’t anticipating that may put me in the spotlight in a way I don’t want or enjoy. That’s why I’ve always stressed to friends that they should never plan a surprise birthday party for me. They might have the best of intentions, but that kind of celebration would make me intensely uncomfortable.
Similarly, I hated being called on in college classes, even if I knew the material well. I was afraid that having my classmates’ eyes on me as I answered would make me stumble over my words — and that worry often came to pass. However, I typically got excellent grades on assignments requiring in-depth analysis. I think that’s because I planned my schedule to allow ample time to complete those and demonstrate my knowledge without being caught off guard by an unwanted surprise.
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Many Animals Just Want Your Company
Most of us have probably been around dogs that won’t provide a minute’s peace until you play fetch with them or cats that want their breakfast before you make yours. In general, though, the companion animals I’ve had in my life don’t expect much from me. As long as their food and water bowls are full and I’m ready to love them, that’s enough.
Jesse was a tabby cat who wandered onto my family’s property one day when I was a girl and never left. We suspect the neighbors who had lived across the street and recently moved may have left her behind. Although Jesse was not very affectionate toward others in my home, she was extraordinarily loving to me and would stay content for hours while sitting on my lap. She would even grumpily meow at anyone who tried to take her off it — such as when I needed to wash my hands before dinner.
Síocháin — named after the Irish word for “peace” — was a cat I had more recently. She was the sweetest creature and lived up to her name because it seemed she could sense when I’d had a draining day and needed comfort. Sometimes, she’d even come and put her paw gently on my forearm, usually when I was typing. She’d purr loudly and wear such a satisfied expression just from having the opportunity to be near me. Although I spoiled her with treats and toys, she seemed happiest simply being in my presence.
Life can be so demanding, and it is such a relief that I’ve had animals like these who ask for very, very little. Interacting with humans can be extremely complicated. If I’m feeling too worn out to follow through on a social obligation I’d previously agreed to, I have to weigh how my decision not to go will make others feel and whether it will upset them. When I’m at an event and see people who can interact with near-strangers so much more easily than I can, I might be tempted to lapse into moments of unkind internal dialogue, wishing I were a bit more outgoing.
But most animals just take me as I am, delighted to spend time with me even if I don’t say a word. If only more humans were similarly agreeable and accepting of my introverted personality!
Animals Are a Necessity for Many Introverts
My interactions with animals began almost immediately — I arrived home from the hospital after birth to a household with two cats, Tom and Pumpkin. Later, Stormy, Simba Cat, and Simba Dog made lasting impressions on me during my childhood and adolescent years.
I lived on campus while attending college, so having animals was not an option for four years. However, my parents gave me regular updates on the animals I grew up with who were still at their home, which helped.
When I moved to Ireland, it took only five days before I adopted a cat.
I cannot imagine a time when animals will not be a huge part of my life. Even if I’m eventually in a situation where I cannot own any, I will go out of my way to be around them.
Being an introvert isn’t always easy, but it has made it much easier for me to form lasting connections with animals. Many aspects of introversion that aren’t always embraced by humans seem to be much more readily accepted by animals.
I hope these examples show you that being an introvert can help you connect with animals as well — and that there’s no reason to act any differently than usual when getting to know one. 
