Awesome story, wow, thank for sharing.

That’s a very inspiring story. I’ve begun to reconsider some of the roles I’ve taken on that make me constantly feel anxious because of the emphasis on constantly interacting with people. Thank you for sharing.

people always tell me that to overcome a fear you should face the fear. but i’ve had so many occasions where i’ve had to to presentations and everytime i mess it up. by body starts to shake, i loose control over my nerves and my head remains facing the paper in my hand. after the presentation i am unable to face anyone and always run outside.

nor does it matter how many days i spend practicing the presentation i can NEVER confidently present it.

i’ve never really met anyone like me who so nervous and lacks the confidence to do public speaking. i’ve met alot of other introverts but they all seen really confident and can always clearly explain and put their idea forward. whereas i find it a task to explain myself especially during interviews.

Instead, the positions went each time to people who were part of the ‘team’, the big personalities who loved to take part in every team building event (that I avoided like the plague), the ‘bubbly’ personalities that everyone listened to, the ones who always had something to say. I hated being a Team Member, I was so used to being a lone worker in the past, and the strict schedule meant there wasn’t time to reflect on the last phone call, to consider how it had gone – BEEP, the next call was waiting before I’d even put down my pen.

My manager didn’t seem to realise that I was an introvert, a highly sensitive person, and (like Helen, above) I was incapable of defending myself when critisised, instead taking the comments to heart and mind, and dwelling on them for weeks until I was convinced I was incapable of doing the job.

I was too afraid and insecure to question why I hadn’t been picked or to promote my worth in any way. I felt like a piece of office furniture and I’d go home at night and cry until bedtime, then go back for more the next day. When six monthly appraisals came around I found it almost impossible to talk about my strengths, concentrating instead on my failings, things I needed to improve on.

I took a mindfulness course, I volunteered for charity and social events at work, I listened to confidence CDs, I tried what I could to change, but after a long, long time, it dawned on me that I *wasn’t* the wrong person for the job, it was The Wrong Job For Me. As simple as that.

After two years, I left. It was sudden and inexplicable – I woke up one morning, talked to my fiance about it (luckily money wasn’t an immediate issue), and wrote The Letter. One month later, I walked free from the office knowing that no amount of mindfulness or volunteering would change the fact that I was in a draining, exhausting environment that needed me to be forward, decisive and above all, self-confident.

Even having the strength to leave that job was a huge confidence booster for me – I didn’t feel like I was running away, instead I felt like I was freeing myself from the mental torture of having to pretend to be someone I really wasn’t.

Now I work on my two vegetable allotment. Huge wide open spaces, the freedom to come and go as I please, answerable only to the weather. And if plants fail and don’t grow, I know that it wasn’t something I did, it’s just ‘one of those things’ and I learn from it. I’ve had a year of successes and it’s done wonders for my confidence, and now I actually get people asking me for growing advice – asking ME! of all people!

Looking back on the short essay (sorry!) that I’ve just written, it’s made me realise something else about myself – I have the confidence to talk about myself from behind a keyboard. If I had to verbally explain these things to someone….I’d be a nervous wreck!