Comments on: Highly sensitive people and the problem of people-pleasing

By: I Can’t Believe You Said That! 10 Things You Should Never Say To An HSP - Dr. Elayne Daniels

Tue, 13 Aug 2024 18:37:48 +0000

[…] other people’s feelings without leaving a personal stamp on your thoughts.Add in the fact that HSPs tend to be people-pleasers. They spend their lives feeling like outsiders, so feeling needed provides its own nourishment, […]

By: I Can’t Believe You Said That! 10 Things You Should Never Say To An HSP – Dr. Elayne Daniels

Mon, 06 May 2024 18:18:16 +0000

By: Things You Should Never Say to an HSP: Communication Tips - Dr. Elayne Daniels

Things You Should Never Say to an HSP: Communication Tips - Dr. Elayne Daniels — Mon, 29 Apr 2024 19:16:48 +0000

By: Estel

Estel — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 16:54:34 +0000

Ugh, this is so true. I often struggle to draw a line between what I consider my natural kindness and actual people-pleasing, where I (mostly unconsciously) use my kindness to make people like me/need me. It gets really bad especially with budding friendships, because if I consider a person my friend, I’m naturally inclined to be a good friend a be there for them/help them out in whatever way I can, but if this friendship is new and I admire the person/don’t feel on equal ground with them I’ll start doing more to please them so that they keep being friends with me. And if it turns out that they didn’t value our friendship as much as I did, I end up getting really hurt.
Even if I have become more aware of my tendency to people-please, I still struggle with it because of my constant desire to be liked, which of course stems from other insecurities about myself. I know the answer lies in learning to truly love myself and not caring about what people think of me, but it’s still hard to get there.
However, I do genuinely like being kind to people, but it’s a pity that kindness is so little valued most of the time.