Comments on: Why Introverts Hate Small Talk (It’s Not Because We Suck At It)

By: Chuck Mangione

Chuck Mangione — Mon, 21 Aug 2017 00:37:00 +0000

I was running and I just finished up, walking the last block home. This guy pulls into the plaza to go to the bank and stops half way in, there’s no traffic cause it’s 8 pm. And he says hi to me and I don’t realize who it is because my vision is bad. I get closer, realize it’s someone who I consider a friend but who I only see maybe 2-3 times a year. And he’s sitting there happy to see me and I realize I have nothing to say. I don’t really care how his days going, or what he did this weekend, and coupled with the fact he should probably get out of the intersection.

And now here I am 30 minutes later, dwelling on the lack of small talk I wasn’t able to make. I find I have a lot of these situations where I just can’t come up with anything to say, it’s not that I wouldn’t want to talk it’s just that I don’t really care about.

My mind is like 2 sentences ahead of my mouth and I sound like I can’t form a complete sentence without stopping and then goodbyes are always awkward

By: Leeanna

Leeanna — Mon, 05 Jun 2017 14:19:00 +0000

I've noticed while sitting quietly, in any social anything, I get pointed out for like....just sitting there. Or walking. enjoying. Phrases include: " she's just depressed about something" "She's just tired" "She's wants to be left alone" "Smile" "Cheer up" Etc. because what? I did not acknowledge the person walking passed me? It can get so frustrating to where I don't want to come work to hear the same damn empty "how are you". noise just noise like we HAVE to make noise WHY!? And I do feel fake when I try to explain to my fellow man that THIS is the way I am and that does not mean I don't feel joy,on the contrary actually, but it cannot be recognized through immediate word vomit. I'd love a dialogue for these moments when I feel completely misunderstood. There's a constant need for us to define define define and doing so tears us down. Through seeing me I can see you. Our voids can be filled with an awesome understanding, by allowing the moment to unfold, to experience! So much gets missed! we can clearly sense the weather. There's no need to talk about it. Unless you're in the middle of a hurricane....definitely room for discussion there. Love ? Thank you for a lovely read!

By: Traci Shaffer

Traci Shaffer — Tue, 25 Oct 2016 04:29:16 +0000

Sometimes I like to chat if I feel like I am interested in talking. Other times I’m in the middle of doing something or thinking deeply about something and I am busy. At those times I just say hello and move on. Small talk makes me feel trapped because I have a million important things going on in my life and in my head. For me, chit chat is something I might do if I have nothing else going on which is rare.

By: Karma Lee

Karma Lee — Sun, 22 May 2016 06:57:45 +0000

Do you prefer meaningful conversation over small talk?
BigTalk is the card game for you. It’s time to end small talk, make real connection and have fun.
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By: Guest

Guest — Sat, 21 May 2016 19:29:54 +0000

In reply to June.

First, calm down.
Second, who said anything about refusing to engage in small talk? Just be cause we dislike it doesn’t mean we don’t understand it’s a necessity. It’s just a pain to get through – like sitting through commercials or completing a tutorial before you start a game.

Also, having more substantial conversations doesn’t mean debating politics or philosophy. For me personally, something that at lest graspso my interest is enough for me. So long as it isn’t boring and trivial

By: June

June — Sat, 09 Apr 2016 00:22:36 +0000

I honestly can’t understand how anyone can talk to anyone else at all if they refuse to use small talk. Please explain, please! When I catch up with my friends I ask them how their week or day has been. Should I he asking them if they have found the meaning of life yet? I truely don’t know how to start a conversation without first using small talk? Please teach me. What about a stranger you are introduced to? If I can’t ask about their background or hobbies etc how can we get to know each other? Am I supposed to launch straight off with what their thoughts on child sex slavery are at the pub on a Friday night when I have had s hard week at work and want to have fun and dance to the band? Truely am not understanding

By: SamuelTheDog

SamuelTheDog — Fri, 18 Mar 2016 23:00:14 +0000

There’s no such things as introvert/extrovert.

By: SotiCoto

SotiCoto — Mon, 19 Oct 2015 10:51:50 +0000

I’m still working on trying to get rid of small talk as a standard… at least for myself. Gotta start small scale too, I guess. Can’t debug the whole of human society overnight.

It isn’t enough to just hate it and endure it because it is the social norm. It isn’t acceptable to just let the extroverts dictate the terms of interaction.

So I’ve got into the habit of immediately shutting down anyone who tries to small talk me and telling them in no uncertain terms that I consider it rude and unwelcome. If they can’t accept that then I don’t want anything to do with them anyway.

By: Jeffrey Dupont

Jeffrey Dupont — Sat, 19 Sep 2015 02:02:58 +0000

I enjoyed the article and I also the comment that Lizzie made. Multiple perspectives help a lot.

By: John Lewis

John Lewis — Sat, 23 May 2015 07:44:35 +0000

Great article, hit what I’m experience and went to Google search for in first attempt. Great ending quote as well. ….I think as introverts we have to look @ what Lizzie stated in her previous comment because I have experience the in interactions she described… I believe the solution is we need to take the time to prepare ourselves mentally for social interactions.