This. Is. Me. Though, I would just steal a few minutes every so often and hang back when I knew no one would miss me. I also need a full day to recharge, even if it’s just going out for a movie. I’ll enjoy myself, but I have to put myself in “people mode.” I run out of “people mode juice” after 5 hours.

Apparently that’s a very common INFJ trait, but I used to think it meant my health was poor. Then, after I got into fitness more, I noticed the same thing. It’s very psychological, and that’s what becomes taxing on our bodies. The mind itself needs to recharge, not just our bodies.

I think this is why I’ve often used the bathroom escape. People are more understanding and come up with their own excuses they can relate to, even if none of is is true. ? The only problem is when there’s only one bathroom and it’s occupied when you need that escape.

My way of coping has been bathroom breaks and earbuds for music. Sometimes I’ll excuse myself for the bathroom/restroom, and take extra time to “primp.” I’m not an overly fashionable person, but I have a routine of checking for anything awkward. But it’s also a more legitimate excuse to give myself time to re-align myself. If I’m in a position to listen to music, I may step back for a bit and listen to something instrumental. My favorites lean more ambient.

And yes, holidays are more tough, even down to just having an extra guest over. I do feel like my senses get overloaded, but I try my best to remember that I’m creating memories of a life filled with happiness, and that I’m very blessed to have the family I’m in. Some family members have been through traumatizing times early in life, and if my presence somehow helps them or means something special, I’ll do what I can to show them how much they mean to me just by being there.

I was still smiling, still happy to see my friends, but every word hurt me, like I was being stabbed… in my soul. That’s really what it felt like. By the time I got home I was a raw, open wound. And I knew exactly what it was. And I am not going ANYWHERE tomorrow. Not. Anywhere.

Now, as an adult, I’ve realized another thing about myself–if I’ve gone on a trip, especially a family visit or conference, I need at least a day afterward to rest and recharge. Just knowing that about myself helps me plan my time and energy much more effectively.

Thanks for this great piece!